Treating Yourself as Your Own Client Doesn’t Work!

The first time I tried to copywrite my website, I ingeniously thought, “I should treat myself as a client.” Of all the good and bad advice out there, this suggestion was never one of them. Probably for good reason. But I actually believed it would make the process easier. Turns out, I was a nightmare as a client and a failure as a copywriter. The work never ended; I would go in two different directions at once, I would hyperfocus on all the wrong things, and I would constantly change things. After months of writing and editing and building the website, I looked at what I had created, and I was appalled. I was so fired. 

Results aside, the experience itself was horrible. It wasn’t a matter of expertise or being a perfectionist; it was simply due to the fact that no matter what your line of work, as soon as you step into the role of your own client, what starts out as a simple approach ends up becoming the longest, most frustrating project you’ll ever work on. The person you think you created doesn’t function the way they are supposed to.  

Here is why.

You are ruthless in your hunt for the truth and an expert liar

When you’re with a client, you take what they say at face value. Yes, there’s the occasional questioning when things don’t add up, but generally, what you hear is the truth. You have to get to know them as much as you can without crossing the boundaries they set. You ease up if a topic is uncomfortable, you empathize, change subjects… You, yourself, don’t want to come across as invasive or hostile either.

This is not at all the case when it’s just you.

When you are inside your head, nothing is off limits, and nothing comes across wrong. You can walk through any corridor in your mind, swing any door open, and rummage through any room. You can outright call yourself a liar because you know where all the bodies are buried, and you wouldn’t feel attacked. And you can convincingly explain your way out of all of them.

Questioning is a natural part of the process, because you want to be authentic. When given all the freedom to seek the answer, it is extremely easy to lose track, because the client inside you wants you to find it. It is not doubt that creates this cycle, and it’s not certainty that breaks it. It’s the desire to be honest and trusting that you are. Because the truth is, we surround ourselves with comfortable lies and then forget that we did. We can spot inconsistencies in other people’s stories and beliefs, but we are blind to our own.

The answer is rarely no

Anything you come up with works for you, might work for you if you expand on it, or can work if you really want it to. Because it came from you, it automatically represents you. The client in you will not object to exploring the possibility of something potentially better than what is currently being developed. They see the same potential as you. Start over, spin off, push the deadline, do what you must.

A real client doesn’t need to know about all the magnificent ideas that don’t really work, so you don’t mention them. And it is much easier to shut it down when you sense you veered off course.  But it’s impossible for your inner client not to know. And when something gets too big, bringing it down to size makes it feel deflated.

Friction only creates heat, no spark.

No matter how much you interact with your inner client, how much you challenge them or they challenge you, there is no chemical reaction. It’s like pouring hot water on a cube of ice. Lukewarm water is what you’ll get.

There is no collaboration or an exchange of ideas. No one is bringing anything new to the table. It’s the exact same perspective shot through two different lenses. It’s conflict for the sake of conflict and drama for the sake of drama. The act of splitting yourself does not really change perspective; it merely gives that impression.

A real change in perspective is a separate journey.

You are not really needed, and you’re not really committed

Your inner client knows literally everything you do, has the same skills, and the same insights, so what do they need you for? You, on the other hand, have the same source of inspiration, the same voice, and the same aspirations, so what do you need them for?

The primary reason people work together or hire someone is a need for something they cannot provide for themselves, for lack of skill or time. But the snake starts eating its tail when what you lack is something you have to provide. It takes effort and time to be able to do that, and you have to actively work on it before you can use it. It’s a different journey all by itself. Instead, all it does is highlight all the ways you’re failing yourself.

You act like your client for the first ten minutes and then allow the professional and client to bleed into each other. The distinction does not last. The client starts micromanaging, and the professional starts projecting, and by the time you are halfway through, you become your regular self again. And that person rarely approves.

We want the work we do for ourselves to be the best work we’ve done, and it can be, but not when we box ourselves in these roles. You don’t dance with yourself; you dance by yourself. You don’t feed yourself; you eat. And you don’t copywrite yourself; you simply start talking. So, why should this be any different? Splitting yourself into two different roles only creates fabricated asymmetry. You are not like any of your clients; you can’t be treated like one.