The Thing About Serendipity

It’s funny how things just work out sometimes. You quit your job and get offered another one within the same week. You break up with someone and then someone professes their feelings to you shortly after. Your cat dies on the same day your friend’s cat gives birth. It happens. Whether it’s a sheer coincidence or not, it happens. What is lost can be replaced. We can either create it ourselves or find someone who has it.

But sometimes what we seek is also seeking us. It bumps into us by random chance— clean, elegant, well-dressed, smells nice. The conversation is as pleasant as can be. Heart-melting promises and an image of a future that is everything we imagined. It understands us like no one has before and it feels as though bumping into each other was destined. And just when we think it couldn’t get any better, it gets down on one knee and proposes.

That, my friend, is what they call serendipity. Or God opening a window. Or the universe smiling at you. You found something you weren’t even looking for. Not everything has to be difficult; sometimes it’s as simple and easy as that.

But here’s the thing, nothing is ever as simple and easy as that. Perhaps I’m the type of person who enjoys adding complexity to simple things, or maybe I’m just not a big believer in free passes, but everything comes at a cost. And if the cost is not upfront, then there must be something going on behind the scenes.

When you look closely at serendipity, what might seem like an opportunity, might be temptation instead. We think we know temptation when we resist the chance to cheat on a diet or a loved one or resist the chance to screw over a coworker to get ahead, but how laughable it is to presume that temptation is as transparent as that. To be so obvious and upfront. True temptation does not make itself known— it’s much too cunning.  

If you think about it, temptation is opportunity. It’s a pursuit for a favorable outcome where you get what you desire. Even opportunities come at a cost. But the difference is that temptation doesn’t mind negotiating with your values. In fact, it enjoys flirting with your convictions. And all it needs is a window to start a conversation. To bump into you by random chance when you’re at a crossroads contemplating your next move. When the proposition is at its most seductive. When giving in can be mistaken for boldness. When doing what you never thought you could do can be mistaken for overcoming your weaknesses. Because, without a clouded judgment, temptation fails to get the better of you.          

What we lose can be replaced. What we don’t have can be obtained. We know what we want, and we make it known. If the trade is not worth it, we can choose to walk away. But what we need can’t be given up so freely. And it certainly can’t be given so easily. Know what you need after you’ve decided what you want. How to recognize the difference between opportunity and temptation depends on how much you know what you really want and what you really need to get it. So, the next time serendipity bumps into you, listen to what it has to say, but when it starts flirting with your needs, then know it might be temptation. Let your wants dictate your needs, not the other way around.